don’t take yourself so seriously (aba, maghunos dili ka dong)

One of the facts of life is that we will always have problems…83 to be exact. We might solve some of them and others will just stay with us constantly.

The thing with problems is that it creates all kinds of other side effects like stress, worry, depression and generally an unhappy life. The 84th problem we all have is that we think if we can just get these problems out of the way, we will be happier. We reason that it is these external things that are stopping us from having a fulfilling life.

The truth is, however, that some of our problems might go away and some will stay with us. Those that go away or get solved then just get replaced by other problems. Now that’s the thinking flaw…the 84th problem. The moment you think that you shouldn’t have problems or that you can only be fulfilled and happy when your problems go away, you will forever and ever be unhappy and unfulfilled. The reason is, like I have mentioned, that we will always, for ever and ever, have problems. The moment we accept this, we can let go of the grip it’s having on us. So how do we do that?

There is one sure way to solve any problem. Just get yourself a bigger problem. It’s true. Ok, you didn’t really solve the initial problem but the significance of it disappeared. The point I am trying to make is not to deliberately burden yourself with bigger and bigger problems, but that even if problems still exist in your life, they can shrink in significance and the moment that happen, it loses its negative grip on you.

Does this mean that you shouldn’t solve your problems? Definitely not. But if you are in a constant state of stress and worry you are in the worst possible space to solve them. People from the outside usually have a much clearer perspective on one’s problems than we have. It is because we are usually so paralysed by them and because of that, we struggle to think with a clear and objective mind about them.

The key is first of all to accept that it is there. To really accept it and not to resist it. Most people resist their life situations. It doesn’t matter how bad your problems are, the fact of the matter is that it is there. So except the “is”-ness of the situation. Don’t resist it. Don’t take it so seriously. This resistance is easy to recognise if you just take time to become aware of it.

The second thing is to experience and feel what’s going on inside you. Get into the present moment. Become aware of your thinking and feelings and you will find how your mind is racing around, causing worry and stress and in the process paralysing you. Most of the time it is our mind and not the situation that’s causing the worry. Don’t judge or belittle yourself for the negative thoughts. Just accept it as it is…become aware of it. Most of the time we can’t get our minds of the problem anyway. Don’t resist that either. Just become aware of it.

In the third place you need to focus on the positives in your life. If you can manage to stay in the present moment, this shouldn’t be too difficult. Like I have mentioned in a previous post, gratitude have the ability to put you in a positive frame of mind.

Now you will be in a much better space to effectively solve your problem and even if you can’t, it will shrink in significance. Our minds tend to always be in the future or the past. The past usually makes us feel guilty. The future thoughts usually makes feel anxious. If you practice this conscious, present moment way of looking at problems, you will find that it’s not the problems that’s causing the unhappiness in your life, but the way you think about them. So don’t take your life so seriously. Smile at your problems for a change.

Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life, love, relationships, religion | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “don’t take yourself so seriously (aba, maghunos dili ka dong)

  1. anakngpiso

    di ko pa natrtry na gawin yang advice mo about getting a bigger problem…. you know what i do? i listen to other people’s problem… di naman sa natutuwa akong namroroblema sila, pero it just makes me realize na other people have problems too di lang ako and some of these problems are bigger than mine… dun na siguro pumapasok yung sinasabi mong shrinking in significance.. cheers!!!-glesy the great;p

  2. artsee

    Ang dapat sa attitude ng isang tao ay hindi problem oriented kundi solution oriented. Ibig sabihin, solution muna bago ang problema (ay mali). Hindi tayo mauubusan ng mga problema. Iyan ang pagsubok sa buhay. Kung walang lungkot ay walang ligaya. Kung walang problema, patay na ang isang tao. Tulad na lang ng sakit. Dati, ang TB ay mahirap gamutin. Nang natagpuan ang gamot sa TB, may dumating na ibang sakit tulad ng cancer. Nang may gamot sa cancer at napapahaba ang buhay ng isang tao, dumating naman ang AIDS. Balang araw ay madaling magamot ang cancer at AIDS pero may lilitaw na naman bagong sakit na hindi kayang gamutin. Ganyan lang ang buhay. Gusto man o ayaw natin, palaging nariyan ang mga problema. Ano ang solution kahit na pansamantala lang? Tumawa na lang tayo at tawanan ang problema. Isipin na lang natin na kaya may problema ay buhay pa tayo. Hu, hu, hu, hu….

  3. artsee

    Bakit tahimik at walang tao dito sa tindahan mo, Yhen? Lahat na lang sa CD tumatambay. Maglagay ka ng gimmick para lumakas ang negosyo niyo.

  4. Kaya ako lagi akong naka smile para kahit masyadong malaki ang problema ko,Life must go on.Lahat ng problema ay may solusyon.Kaya tawanan mo na lang ang mga problema ninyo.Ang kinakatakutan kong problema na darating sa buhay ko ay kung ayaw na ng tumilaok ni manoy.Problema na talaga.Hehehehe!

  5. yung third ang pinakamahirap kapag nasa isang situation ka ng mabibigat na problems. though you actually and literally see all the positives things happening in your life, it all is non-essential when you are feeling so down with your problems. thats why it is really important that God is in our hearts. and that we always seek Him not only when we have problems.

    yhen these are great key points when somebody is into the pit of their problems. i love it! great post!

  6. camilleeee

    ako dati, todo senti talaga pag may problema. pero ngayon iba na. dahil na rin sguro sa madami na din akong napagdaanan.

    tama ka, mas ok kung iisipin natin yung mga positive na bagay sa buhay natin. at i-appreciate na mas madami sila kesa sa mga “nega” na mga bagay.😉

  7. @anakngpiso, yup tama din yung ginagawa mo. read that strategy sa book na purpose driven life. we should think na hindi lang tayo ang may mabigat na problema. even others too, this makes us more stronger thinking na hindi lang pala ako ang may problema. its just that mag kakaiba lang ang pasok ng problema.

    @sir artsee, tama din po kayo na walang problemang hindi nalulutas. sabi nga ng pastor sa church namin, God willnot give you a problem you cannot solve. kaya kung ano man ang problemang binigay sa atin may solusyon jan.

    @sir cocoy, mukang happy go lucky ka sir ah… hehe… at ang posibleng maging problema mo lang ay ang iyong churva… hehehe… sensored? nwei, hindi masamang mamroblema pero mas hindi masamang ngumiti sa kabila ng mga problema.

    @kuya gmac, wat is important in having problems is that in the end we will learn something.ika nga nila, let us not problem our problems. ay naku pagpinoproblema mo ang problema madali tayong tatanda.

    @camille, hi po salamat at napadaan ka uli. ang daming positive na bagay na pwede nating isipin yun nga lang minsan mas natatabunan ito ng nagiisang negative na bagay. for a change naman diba lets think all the positive things, lets appreciate the things around us, and we will see that life is indeed beautiful.

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