got this one from an email… and i really felt sad after reading it. very compromising naman ito… ito yong mga exenang If Only… pwede niyo ring irelate ito sa song ni Bugoy (PDA Champ) na PAANO NA KAYA. nwei, go ahead read it and dont forget to leave your comments or kung anumang hinaing ninyo sa buhay… hehehehe!
They’re good friends, really good friends.
He’s a great guy. Amazing actually. A few people see him as the “guy who always messes up” but the truth is he makes things better. He’s a good friend; always there when you have a problem, takes care of you when you’ve had too much to drink, gives you his umbrella even if he needs it more than you do, makes you laugh, makes you cry when he makes you laugh too much… and the best reason why he’s so remarkable, you can cry on his shoulders anytime you want. He won’t stop you from crying but he always gives you the feeling that everything will be alright.
She’s okay. Quite quiet, reserved but not really. Many people think that she’s the type of person that no one can truly understand but they’re wrong. Like him, she’s a pretty dependable person. She helps with just about anything that sometimes she forgets a lot of stuff yet that is what her friends like about her. She makes fascinating stories that she doesn’t want anyone to read, she loves kids and kids love her back, very generous and one great thing about her, she’s a good listener. She doesn’t give paramount advices still, in some way, you get the most comfortable feeling when she listens.
They met way back in college. One day, they were passing by each other not aware of anyone’s existence. Then their common friends introduced them to each other and they started hanging out occasionally. After a while, they have short coffee breaks in the cafeteria without the common friends. Until one day, they just got really close that everyone thinks there’s something going on. It was weird for them to deny every story they hear. But sometimes, you have to believe them because after a while, you just get used to seeing them together.
Maybe that was how the speculations about their so-called relationship died down. People stopped talking about them and everything went back to normal. Then again, there’s deception. The eyes can see, but it cannot understand everything.
The girl and the guy are still good friends. It’s a fact though that either these two remain as friends or one falls for the other, whoever it is. Some people think it’s sweet that friends become more than friends. Unfortunately, it’s not the same for the party who is starting to feel unusual about the other. There will always be a feeling of pain and a life full of pretensions.
That’s what happened.
The stories were rather turning into reality. It’s a cliché we read in books and see in movies but the girl fell in love with her friend. She didn’t know what or how it happened. Yesterday she loved being friends with him. Now, she loves him. She needs everything to stay the same but that is not what she wants. She wants to go back to what used to be; laughing around with him, sharing secrets, getting drunk on a school night and crying on his shoulders whenever she’s down. She still laughs with him, they still drink. However, she’s afraid to get drunk and spill any beans and she pretends to be okay because of fear. Fear that they might go back to being strangers passing by each other on the hallways. Fear that she might lose the one person who can make her feel alright on her darkest days. Fear that he might hate her. Fear of just about everything.
She tried to keep everything to herself. Problem is they’ve been friends long enough for the guy not to notice that something was off. He asked her one day. He asked why she’s been acting a little different. Why some of her actions are way overboard. Then he began asking every single chance he gets. She answers him with a smile. Always. And since the guy wasn’t really good in giving advice, he just hugs her. Hugs were good before, but now, getting a hug means putting a mask that covers up what is real.
That is the dilemma of having a friend who makes you feel good by not saying anything. She wants him to ask more. She wants him to dig deeper. Yet she didn’t want him to because she’d rather feel good for a while than explain what has happened to her. How is she going to tell him anyway?
It’s been five years. They’re still good friends even if they don’t see each other that much anymore. Surprise, surprise… the feeling that she had for her friend hadn’t changed. Not a bit. She forgets once in a while just because of the people she meets. They say absence makes you forget, but to her, absence is conditional. She had a choice of getting rid of those feelings or hanging on to it. Crazy as it may seem, she chose the second one. She chose to feel the pain that she started herself.
She got along with her life just fine but everyday she asks herself why she didn’t take any risks at all. It was fear that swallowed her. She was so drowned with the idea of losing him that she forgets the fact that at some point, she might lose herself.
Maybe one day she’ll realize that it’s time she told her friend about what’s really been going on. It’s insanity to keep it any longer. It is impossible for her to hear and get what she has been wanting for a long time. Times change and people change. But perhaps, it’ll be a lot easier if she just let it all out. Who knows maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t just be good friends.