Posts Tagged With: joke

10 reasons y God created eve

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because He knew men would never ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote because men don’t want to see what is on TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on TV.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when the seat wore out and therefore would need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor’s appt for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

5. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would have to someone to bear children because men would never be able to handle it.

4. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The Scripture account of creation indicates that Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone”, he only ends up getting himself in trouble.

And the NUMBER ONE reason…

1. When God finished the creation of Adam he stepped back, scratched his head and said, “I can do better than that.”

…that’s what we called the power of a woman!!!

Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life, love, relationships, religion | Tags: , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

koleksiyon ng mga astig na pick-up lines ;-)

“You must be corny! ‘Cause you keep on popping into my mind.”
“You know what? If I get married? I won’t even invite you! …. Cause you’re going to be my bride.”
“My heart is like a baker … it’s always beating for you.”
Contributor: obiwankamote

“You look like trash and I want to take you out”
“Excuse me, you dropped something back there…my jaw!”
“I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.”
“Do you come here often? You could, with me.”
“You’re like a dictionary: you add meaning to my life!”
“If you were a booger, I’d pick you first!”
Contributor: digitasj

“bangin ka ba? kasi nahuhulog na ako para sa iyo”
Contributor: bart

“Cholesterol ka ba? kasi nakakataba ka ng puso e…”
“Para tayong science … may chemistry tayo e”
“High voltage ka ba? Kasi there’s a spark between us”
“Para kang programming bug … kahit anong gngwa ko .. andyn ka pa ren”
Contributor: leyda

https://yhen1027.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/wordsquotes-to-live-by-on-love/

“may isang guy na nadulas sa harap ng crush nia ..” see how i fell for u?”..
“am i a bad shooter? cause i keep on missing you.. ”
“ei, can u be my driver? para ikaw na ang magpatakbo ng buhay q!”
“eraser ka ba? di ka na kasi mabura sa icip q.”
“may alam ka bang gumagawa ng relo? sira kasi ata relo q.
pag ikaw kasama q, humihinto ang oras q..”
“mahilig ka bang magbasketball? kasi pinapatalbog mu ang puso q pag nkikita kita..”
“kung bola ka at isshoot kita, di q gagawin un.kasi mamimiss kita!!!”
“mamamalat nnman ang puso q..kasi lagi sinisigaw ang pangalan mu!!!”
“can i have ur jersey? bacause i want ur name and number..”
“do u know where the nearest bakery is? so i can buy a cutiepie like u..”
“hershey’s chocolate ka bah? kasi im craving for ur kisses!!!!”
“alarm clock ka bah? kasi ginigsing mu ang natutulog kong puso..”
“pagkain ka ba? kasi di aq mabubuhay ng wala ka..”
“kung aq businessman, lahat ng tao bbentahan q ng mura.kaw hindi!!! dhil sau lang aq nagmamahal..”
“ibibili kita ng salbabida..bka kasi malunod ka sa pagmamahal ko..
“taga meralco ka ba? kasi ikaw nagbibigay liwanag sa buhay q..”
“siguro magaling ka sa puzzle? kasi umaga pa lang, binuo mu na ang araw ko..”
“do i believe in love at first sight? or do u want me to walk again?!”
“if i can be a letter, id like to be “T”..so i can be close to “U”
“Tarsier ka ba? Lagi ka kasing na-boBohol sa isipan ko..”
“Anong blood type mo? akin kasi ‘O’ … sana ikaw ‘K’ para OK tayo”
Contributor: katiting

“nasan ka kagabi?! bat wala ka sa panaginip ko??”
“bukas, sisingilin kita ng upa mo.. kasi matagal ka ng nanihirahan sa puso ko..”
“can you recommend a good bank where i can make a deposit? coz i’m planning to save all my love for you..”
“ano pang silbe ni GRAVITY? E kung sayo pa lang nahuhulog na ako..”
“Ang buhay ko are parang nakasakay sa seesaw.. down ako pag wala ka!”
Contributor: mela

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Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life, love, relationships, trip | Tags: , , , , , , | 249 Comments

minsan may MANNY sa buhay ng mga pinoy!!!

Nakuha ko ito sa email, cguro may ganito na kayo pero kakatuwa kasi siya. Naaliw lang ako. Oh heto na ang Manny Pacquiao ng buhay mo…

Ito kung nagkapelikula siya… bumenta kaya?

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Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life, politics, trip | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

Mga Bagong Kasabihan: Kagandahan Edition

Para sa magaganda… “Aanhin mo ang ganda, kung wala ka namang Papa?”

Para sa gustong magpaganda o retokada… “Kung gusto mong maglandi, tiisin mo ang hapdi.”

Para sa mga feeling maganda… “Talbog ang matigas na tinapay sa tigas ng muka ng nagmamagandang inday!”

Para sa mga walang ganda… “Mabait man daw at magaling, ang chaka chaka parin!”

Saan ka ngayon nabibilang??? Magkaalamanan nalang! hehehe!

Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life, trip | Tags: , , , , , | 144 Comments

try to say this for a change!

1. If you understand, say “understand” . If you don’t understand, say “don’t understand”. But if you understand and say “don’t understand”. How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn’t have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, “If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?”

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said “NO”, and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

“When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor’s the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor’s way”

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We’ll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly “Oh what should we do” Said the flea” Let us fly Said the fly”Let us flee” So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See’s saw Before See sawed Soar’s seesaw, See’s saw would not have sawed Soar’s seesaw. So See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw

Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life, trip | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

Joke for the Day! (mejo corni nga lang hehe!)

ISANG ARAW MAY ISANG FARMER ANG HIRAP NA HIRAP NA MAGPASUNOD SA KANYANG ALAGANG KALABAW UPANG MAG ARARO. NAKITA ITO NG KANYANG PASTOR AT NILAPITAN ANG FARMER;

PASTOR: ANO PO BA ANG PROBLEMA KAPATID?
FARMER: KAYO PO PALA PASTOR.,, ITO PONG AKING KALABAW E, AYAW MAG ARARO. ANO PO KAYA ANG DAPAT KONG GAWIN?

PASTOR:A, GANUN BA?

NILAPITAN NG PASTOR ANG KALABAW AT BINULUNGAN ITO, MAYA-MAYA AY BIGLANG ITONG KUMARIPAS NG TAKBO SA PAG-AARARO. NAGTAKA ANG FARMER AT NAGTANONG.

FARMER: PTR. ANO PO BA ANG BINULONG NYO AT KUMARIPAS NG TAKBO AT NAG ARARO ANG AKING KALABAW?

PASTOR:AH, SINABI KO SA KANYA KAPAG HINDI SYA NAG ARARO SIYA ANG PAGPAPASTURIN KO SA AKING SIMBAHAN..

Categories: accessdenied!, Blogroll, life | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

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